Hello! My name is Shelly Davidson and Lou has so faithfully offered me a monthly spot on Authors Speak so here it goes –
The first topic I’d like to focus on is the dreaded word – CHANGE. To so many people, the word, just the very thought of allowing any sort of change ignites this fear from within, this utter distain for even the slightest change in their lives, their career, their surroundings, etc. For some, this fear is often dealt with absolute denial or even physical repercussions. However, there is one thing to keep in mind –
That simple. It’s going to happen whether you are ready for it or not so it’s best to adapt any way you can and learn to embrace the change.
I’ve been asked several times in my life that if I had a chance to go back and do something over again, what would it be and why? My answer has always been very simple.
There is not one single thing I would change about the past or anything that I would have done differently.
Another simple answer. Every moment that I have experienced, every event, emotion, and person has had a part in bringing me to where and who I am now. Is my life perfect? Hell no! Have I accomplished everything I want to in life? No.
But I do like the person I have become. I still have a way to go before I can say love but it’s a life’s journey, right? I am proud of my accomplishments so far and still have a few to go. I would not be able to be where I am at this exact moment if it had not been for the good – and the bad that I have been through prior.
Everything we experience, everything that happens around and to us affects us one way or another. We can choose to respond with negativity, with anger, or with sorrow. Or we can learn to accept, have faith (not as in religion) that everything happens for a reason, and do our best to learn from every experience.
It is up to us to take what we need from a situation. Some take the hate and the anger and the misunderstandings and they bring these emotions inside, feeding them, nurturing them along so that they grow and soon take over everything that was good and pure inside you and leave you with nothing but the blackness it leaves behind.
We can also take the hate and the anger and the misunderstandings and do what we can to learn, to love, and to decipher where the hate comes from and to show it joy and acceptance. Sometimes we’ll see no change at all but sometimes, sometimes we will see a tiny spark of something new. It’s when those are open to change, to being open to something other than what they have surrounded themselves with, that change can be a beautiful thing.
The world right now is going through so many changes. Some of these changes, I find are pretty damn scary. Violence, politics, social climate, environmental changes – it’s all really scary. I was brought up in an era where you helped your fellow neighbor, where you left your door unlocked and kids knew better than to stay out past the time that the streetlights came on. You never questioned your parents and you were never aware of the financial state of your family. Most moms were stay at home, at least in the first several years and if you disobeyed, you got it in the behind!
Today’s kids – I am so happy I’m not a kid today. We, as their parents did what we thought was right. We were more lenient, we didn’t spank, we allowed television but only a little bit, we set up play dates, and introduced our children to electronics at a young age. We also taught them about strangers, how to defend themselves, and that their happiness was important.
Fortunately, I also believe the younger generation accepts change easier because they are used to change. Change is what happens when you are unhappy. For their parents or older, change was only done if absolutely necessary – otherwise we just learned how to deal with it!
I am on the end of the baby boomers and we are about to become the largest population – we are the older generation and there are a lot of us! We don’t deal with change well. We like things to stay the same, to remain secure, to know what to expect. So how do we learn to deal with change?
- Accept that change is going to happen, with or without you. It’s better to try and be positive.
- You can’t control everything. However, you can control how you accept and/or adapt to change. It’s still your choice.
- It’s okay to feel emotion. Get angry, cry, scream and yell, do what you need to do. But do not let your dealing with something or not dealing with it affect others in a negative way. Don’t take it out on others, don’t be nasty behind their backs and don’t let it hurt your family.
- Understand that change may be difficult for you or those around you. Do what you can to make the changes as easy as possible – this could mean allowing a friend to vent their frustration without being judged or it could mean you have some homework to do to fully understand the change and your possible opportunities to deal with the change.
- Take a break. This could mean just walking away for a while (there is a reason I smoke!), separate yourself, or sit back and look at it from another perspective. You may find that things don’t seem as bad when you return or maybe even you can see why sometimes change is a good thing.
- Don’t expect acceptance overnight. If you are a person who dislikes change, take it slowly. It may take a bit of time to adjust so maybe you can start with small things. Years ago, a friend of mine switched from regular Coke to diet. In the beginning, she’d put like a capful of diet into the regular, adding a bit more each day until she had replaced it all together. Today, she can smell regular Coke from across the room and can’t stand it!
- Above all else – laugh! As I had stated before – change happens. The only thing you have control over is how YOU react. Laughing is much more fun!
Okay, enough about change! Here is some bits of information about me and yes, I am going through some major changes right now –
My first book was released June 1, 2016 and is called Resurrection (http://smarturl.it/ijekrp).
Two men with painful, complicated pasts who have shut themselves down from ever loving again. Complete opposites of one another, one raised in a strict military household, who grew up with the sole purpose of becoming a soldier and defending his country, only to have that cut short by an IED; and the other raised in the rodeo, small town and ranch life his safe haven; and their chance meeting.
How the two of them end up in some small town diner can only be credited to divine intervention. But are both men too damaged? They say God works in mysterious ways. Well, he certainly had his hands full when he chose these two for saving.
Is it too late?
It is a story of two men, both who have had major changes affect them in their lives. Some of the changes have been good, some not so good; some they had control over but most of them they had no control. It is the story about how two men choose to handle change.
Web Site: https://sdavidsonauthor.org/