Shelly Davidson – Drama!

Good evening! This is Shelly Davidson and it’s time for my regular blog spot here at Authors Speak. First, I want to thank Lou for asking me to post monthly.

So far, I have written about Changes and Independence (Day). This month, I think I’d like to focus more on Drama.

Oh, come on. We all see it. Spend a few precious moments on Facebook and you will be inundated with drama. Particularly from writers. We do love a good drama. I mean, it’s our life’s blood, right? And many of us writers are active in the gay community and boy, talk about drama! I say this with the deepest respect. I love the drama but when can a little drama become too much?

We all have our friends lists. As authors, we probably also have our fan base (boy, that sounds weird to say!). Many of us have one page for our personal stuff and another for our business. Our readers don’t want to see pictures of our children doing goofy things and I know my straight, homophobic brother doesn’t want to see some of my pictorial inspirations for my writing.

Sometimes, though, the pages’ mix. People say things, others respond emotionally and not necessarily professionally and tempers flare. Reading through posts of others I have on my lists, I’m amazed at how quickly something can escalate and really become an issue. I’ve seen people hurt by personal comments or things taken out of text. I’ve seen people needing to take a Facebook break, just to separate themselves from the drama. I’ve seen people post truly personal things that honestly, I really didn’t need to know about.

I suppose my point is that you need to keep an eye on the whole picture, not one string of words. You need to remember how much that person or people really know about you or are they just people on your list. Remember who your audience is, whether you are on your personal site or your author site. Remember that words can hurt. You don’t have the addition of facial expressions or voice inflections to help with your intended message and just simple words can be dangerous. Watch your tone. The last thing anyone wants to do is to offend someone accidentally (and if your intent is to offend or hurt, stop reading now! You won’t understand).

Some people have way too much time on their hands. Some people just like to start trouble. And then there are those that believe everything they read and act on it rather than knowing the facts. If you have someone posting on your page who offends you, block them. Or call them on it. But most of all, don’t let it ruin you! So many times, it’s really not personal (unless it’s your momma – then you’d better listen!). Some people live to stir the pot and you don’t need that in your life. Facebook is a valuable social networking site that brings you into contact with people from all over the world who you would normally never have an opportunity to meet. It can also be a clever disguise form anyone to present themselves as what you want to see but in fact, have nothing but bad intentions. Be careful. Unless you know the person in reality (yes, much of Facebook is not real!), then be careful. Again, know your audience. Get personal only with those you trust completely. Read your posts before you hit enter and try to never type from emotion. Think!

If you’re a drama queen and go for that stuff, go for it! Personally, I haven’t got time for it. I have a supportive family, good job and friends, books to write, and can live without the drama.

Just be careful and always remember – delete, block and the power button all exist for a reason. If it gets to be too much, power down, curl up with a good book, and drink some hot chocolate. You’ll feel better for it.

United States Army ranger during the military operation

I am the proud author of Resurrection, a military M/M romance that deals with love, loss, and the aftermath of the war. It is available now through Amazon – (http://smarturl.it/ijekrp).

Excerpt:

Jamie couldn’t get the door closed fast enough as he sagged against it to the floor as the sounds of the helicopters took over. He seized his head between his fists as the mortar rounds and the gunfire erupted in his brain. He squeezed his eyes shut as his entire sensory system was taken over by the battle that lived in his head.

Links:

Web Site: https://sdavidsonauthor.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sdavidsonauthor/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30267756-resurrection

Twitter: https://twitter.com/@sdavidsonauthor

Email: sdavidsonauthor@earthlink.net

Shelly Davidson – Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day!

I have been pondering what independence means, truly means and I suppose it’s different for everyone. For some, it’s being able to stand on their own two feet (or one if the case may be) and to be able to gain what they desire in their hearts. It’s being able to make choices and to live with those choices. Independence is about surviving.

Writers understand independence in ways that many others do not. As a writer, much of our craft is born within our minds, takes life in our thoughts, and is born through the keystrokes of our fingers. Being a writer is a very lonely place, existing solely in the mind until one brings it forward and dares to put to words what has been festering in the dark depths. Writers take the ideas that are a very private part of themselves and weave them into characters and stories and can take readers on a journey through their words.

I have recently become a published author for the first time (plug: Resurrection, a M/M Military Romance available through Amazon Click here) and I have had some very good reviews. Many have expressed amazement to the fact that this is my first book. What people tend to look over is that this is by far NOT my first book. I’m over 50 years old and I have been a writer my entire life! I have written short stories, poetry, plays, online role play, and countless stories and books over the years. Yes, this IS my first published novel and honestly, I am very proud of it.

But I am no different from so many authors out there. I read many posting on Facebook about the struggles, with feelings of giving up, and the frustrations with not being able to make ends meet. I get that. Being a writer is something that can be so emotionally draining and take so much out of a person yet pays so little and rarely gets the writer the kudos they deserve. If you’re lucky, you write that best seller that is seen by millions, but most of us, 99.999% of writers will never feel that sort of success. It does not mean we are not as good of a writer as that person is. It does not mean we do not have as good of ideas as that person. I mean, have you ever read Stephan King? That guy has some seriously messed up ideas! It just means it wasn’t meant to be.

I have never wanted to make a living with my writing. Maybe that’s why I never tried to become published before now. I have always figured that if I have to rely on what I love to do in order to pay my rent, then I will be forced to do it and writing does not always work that way. I write for myself first, for my own enjoyment and yes, to calm the characters that pop up in my head, make me lose sleep, and demand their story be written down. Now, that fact that others are also enjoying something I wrote not only boggles my mind but makes me very happy. To have a physical book with MY name on the spine is pretty damn mind-blowing.

Now, that is not to say that you shouldn’t love your job or be passionate about what you do for a living. Many people are able to combine the two and live quite happily. I am just not one of those people and I am sure there are plenty of creative individuals out there, writing until the wee hours of the morning or painting and drawing over and over until they feel it’s right who also believe that art and the creation is a very personal thing. Some people have amazing talent but the thought of showing that talent to the world is terrifying because it’s part of them in some way. The words, the strokes, the colors – it’s all a part of the creator in some way.

I suppose the aim of this posting and the focus I wanted to take today was that it is Independence Day. Celebrate it however you feel you should. In my family, it is a day of mourning because we lost a loved but troubled family member on this day so we all avoid festivities.

However, this year, I am able to celebrate something new. I am a writer and I have been successful in completing a full novel (not as easy of a task as you’d think! You should see all the story starters I have over the years!) and been lucky enough to not only get it published but have others enjoy it as well. So, for me, this Independence Day has taken on a bigger meaning. This Independence Day, I can celebrate my success in being able to wrangle those thoughts in my head, put them to paper, seek out a publisher, have them accept me, and see my dream available to others and have it received well. So, as you can see by that lengthy sentence, that this day means so much more to me this year. This is MY Independence Day because I made a dream come true. No one else but me. And that sounds like a reason to celebrate.

Happy Independence Day!

ShellyDavidson-Teaser-Others-1-1

 

Shelly Davidson – Ch..Ch..Ch..Changes

Hello! My name is Shelly Davidson and Lou has so faithfully offered me a monthly spot on Authors Speak so here it goes –

The first topic I’d like to focus on is the dreaded word – CHANGE. To so many people, the word, just the very thought of allowing any sort of change ignites this fear from within, this utter distain for even the slightest change in their lives, their career, their surroundings, etc. For some, this fear is often dealt with absolute denial or even physical repercussions. However, there is one thing to keep in mind –

Change happens

That simple. It’s going to happen whether you are ready for it or not so it’s best to adapt any way you can and learn to embrace the change.

I’ve been asked several times in my life that if I had a chance to go back and do something over again, what would it be and why? My answer has always been very simple.

There is not one single thing I would change about the past or anything that I would have done differently.

Why not?

Another simple answer. Every moment that I have experienced, every event, emotion, and person has had a part in bringing me to where and who I am now. Is my life perfect? Hell no! Have I accomplished everything I want to in life? No.

But I do like the person I have become. I still have a way to go before I can say love but it’s a life’s journey, right? I am proud of my accomplishments so far and still have a few to go. I would not be able to be where I am at this exact moment if it had not been for the good – and the bad that I have been through prior.

Everything we experience, everything that happens around and to us affects us one way or another. We can choose to respond with negativity, with anger, or with sorrow. Or we can learn to accept, have faith (not as in religion) that everything happens for a reason, and do our best to learn from every experience.

It is up to us to take what we need from a situation. Some take the hate and the anger and the misunderstandings and they bring these emotions inside, feeding them, nurturing them along so that they grow and soon take over everything that was good and pure inside you and leave you with nothing but the blackness it leaves behind.

Or

We can also take the hate and the anger and the misunderstandings and do what we can to learn, to love, and to decipher where the hate comes from and to show it joy and acceptance. Sometimes we’ll see no change at all but sometimes, sometimes we will see a tiny spark of something new. It’s when those are open to change, to being open to something other than what they have surrounded themselves with, that change can be a beautiful thing.

The world right now is going through so many changes. Some of these changes, I find are pretty damn scary. Violence, politics, social climate, environmental changes – it’s all really scary. I was brought up in an era where you helped your fellow neighbor, where you left your door unlocked and kids knew better than to stay out past the time that the streetlights came on. You never questioned your parents and you were never aware of the financial state of your family. Most moms were stay at home, at least in the first several years and if you disobeyed, you got it in the behind!

Today’s kids – I am so happy I’m not a kid today. We, as their parents did what we thought was right. We were more lenient, we didn’t spank, we allowed television but only a little bit, we set up play dates, and introduced our children to electronics at a young age. We also taught them about strangers, how to defend themselves, and that their happiness was important.

Fortunately, I also believe the younger generation accepts change easier because they are used to change. Change is what happens when you are unhappy. For their parents or older, change was only done if absolutely necessary – otherwise we just learned how to deal with it!

I am on the end of the baby boomers and we are about to become the largest population – we are the older generation and there are a lot of us! We don’t deal with change well. We like things to stay the same, to remain secure, to know what to expect. So how do we learn to deal with change?

  • Accept that change is going to happen, with or without you. It’s better to try and be positive.
  • You can’t control everything. However, you can control how you accept and/or adapt to change. It’s still your choice.
  • It’s okay to feel emotion. Get angry, cry, scream and yell, do what you need to do. But do not let your dealing with something or not dealing with it affect others in a negative way. Don’t take it out on others, don’t be nasty behind their backs and don’t let it hurt your family.
  • Understand that change may be difficult for you or those around you. Do what you can to make the changes as easy as possible – this could mean allowing a friend to vent their frustration without being judged or it could mean you have some homework to do to fully understand the change and your possible opportunities to deal with the change.
  • Take a break. This could mean just walking away for a while (there is a reason I smoke!), separate yourself, or sit back and look at it from another perspective. You may find that things don’t seem as bad when you return or maybe even you can see why sometimes change is a good thing.
  • Don’t expect acceptance overnight. If you are a person who dislikes change, take it slowly. It may take a bit of time to adjust so maybe you can start with small things. Years ago, a friend of mine switched from regular Coke to diet. In the beginning, she’d put like a capful of diet into the regular, adding a bit more each day until she had replaced it all together. Today, she can smell regular Coke from across the room and can’t stand it!
  • Above all else – laugh! As I had stated before – change happens. The only thing you have control over is how YOU react. Laughing is much more fun!

Okay, enough about change! Here is some bits of information about me and yes, I am going through some major changes right now –

My first book was released June 1, 2016 and is called Resurrection (http://smarturl.it/ijekrp).

US paratrooper airborne infantrymen during the desert storm ** Note: Soft Focus at 100%, best at smaller sizes

Blurb:

Two men with painful, complicated pasts who have shut themselves down from ever loving again. Complete opposites of one another, one raised in a strict military household, who grew up with the sole purpose of becoming a soldier and defending his country, only to have that cut short by an IED; and the other raised in the rodeo, small town and ranch life his safe haven; and their chance meeting.

How the two of them end up in some small town diner can only be credited to divine intervention. But are both men too damaged? They say God works in mysterious ways. Well, he certainly had his hands full when he chose these two for saving.

Is it too late?

It is a story of two men, both who have had major changes affect them in their lives. Some of the changes have been good, some not so good; some they had control over but most of them they had no control. It is the story about how two men choose to handle change.

Web Site: https://sdavidsonauthor.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sdavidsonauthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/@sdavidsonauthor

Email: sdavidsonauthor@earthlink.net